Constant Change Can Turn Your World Upside Down

Doing a headstand to clear my mind

Over the last few weeks, I had to decide whether or not pursue contract opportunities outside of Arizona. While I’ve always been one to embrace change, I was falling into a happy rhythm of how my life in the desert was unfolding. I struggled with the idea of moving while maintaining focus on applying for three different startup pitch competitions and balancing a new found social life. My motto has always been work hard, play harder. With the demands of a startup, the play part of life has diminished to practically nothing. Meeting all of the application deadlines, preparing executive summaries, and slide decks pretty much had me deserting social functions to work on these deliverables until midnight or 1 am nearly every day. This is not a complaint because with all this hard work led to solid messaging and direction for the company, plus I love what I’m doing!

Indecision Causes Turmoil

When I was weighing my options, calculating my finances, and assessing how I felt about moving, I was a complete mess! Working on anything related to Hand Things Down was easy because I knew exactly what I needed to do and when it needed to be done. Deciding on whether or not I was ready to leave the kids behind and not seeing certain things develop naturally made me sad. I was settling into the idea of not moving until after Jelli graduated, then I realized I’ve got to pick up a contract so I can provide her with a really cool senior year. Who would I talk to about making this decision? Old friends I haven’t talked to in forever? Can I burden new friends with helping me weigh out whether or not I should make a drastic change in my life? An ex-boyfriend who knows me? In the end, I ended up withdrawing into myself to weigh the pros and cons.

I literally felt like my world was turning upside down and I needed to make a move because the indecision was killing me! I don’t function well in a holding pattern, I would rather know a direction so I can put the pieces in place to make something happen or if the situation calls for it, walk away.

The Decision

In the end, I chose to pick up a 9 month contract in California. I’ve literally moved every few months for some sort of opportunity and the move has always made be grow as a person and an entrepreneur. While the external circumstances were the same in the sense that it was unforeseen and so much needed to happen in a short span of time, this time just felt more difficult emotionally.

Life is a Series of Experiments

Wish that I can have this moment for life, cause in this moment I feel so alive. ~Nicki Minaj

Do you ever stop and wonder what series of events led you to a particular moment in time? Sometimes chance leads you down a path you would not normally consider and it’s result is surprisingly happy. Other times not a single thing can go right and every challenge is one hurdle after another. There was a point in my life where I literally thought, “I die a little every day that I’m in [name dreaded location].” Yes, highly dramatic and I thought this isn’t me, what happened to the adventure in life?! When I realized this, I created a couple of on-going experiments to feel more alive.

Experiment: Being Lucky
Try this for a week: Believe in your heart and mind that you are the luckiest person ever.
Each day you wake up and you have a choice to make the day amazing or it can be just another boring day. I naively believe I’m super lucky and this leads to amazing experiences. You’re probably thinking your life can never go that well, so for a week get rid of that voice in your head that pops up to ruin the moment and just roll with it. Over lunch, I told a friend, “You have to show up and you end up meeting the right people or get invited to cool places.” As an example, I mentioned going to an alumni breakfast, then at the end of of breakfast, I volunteered to help for future events. When I did that, I got invited to go to the SF Giant’s spring training game for that afternoon. Not only did I score two free tickets, my daughter and I were seated front row on the third baseline. My friend said, “You know you’re creating those opportunities, right? If you show up then sit in a corner, no one is going to hand you free tickets to anything.” Hmmm…good point maybe the lesson here is if you give without expectations of anything in return, then it all comes back to you, that leads to the next experiment.

Experiment: Be happy in the moment or change the moment
Try this for a month: Expect to have an amazing time.
During a meditation intensive, I learned the phrase, “Expectation kills the joy in life.” I thought how could this be? I EXPECT to have an adventure every time I step out of the house, I don’t know who I’ll meet or talk to who will inspire me or whom I can inspire. How could this possibly kill any happiness? Then I realized my expectation didn’t create room for disappointment. A lot of my friends in relationships hang their happiness on whether or not their significant other does something for them. Some single friends hang their happiness on whether or not the object of their obsession gives them attention. I don’t have time to think about that sort of stuff. I’m busy with my kids, working on my business/fitness, hanging out with people whose company I enjoy and having a blast! My expectation is to have fun so when I go somewhere, if the plans change to something unexpected it’s a pleasant surprise and I turn it into an adventure. I know this is hard, I thrive on having a very structured life with everything programmed into my calendar and if I can roll with it so can you. Put everything that needs to get done on the calendar, then one day a week, give yourself permission to be spontaneous. Open up a day to accept invitations to do something unexpected or just take a day to yourself.

Experiment: Help others create amazing experiences
Try this for month: At least 3x a week, help someone move forward with their goals.
I’m continually surprised and impressed with people around me. By their generosity, intellect, and thoughtfulness, all qualities I hope to emulate. I’m naturally selfish, I want to have fun and sometimes forget things if it’s not on my calendar. When I think of that phrase, “Expectation kills the joy in life,” I always hope I’m not disappointing my kids. As a mom, my goal is to create amazing life experiences for my kids because if I don’t expose them to that they’ll grow up with a very narrow view of the world. My oldest danced in the Nutcracker at the age of 7, as a mouse because she attended a ballet school associated with a professional ballet company. Not many people can put that as a claim to fame. I hope to help them create more circumstances like these in their lives. This idea has a broader application, you can help by introducing people to someone who can help them, forwarding an article you’ve read that is relevant to their goals, or help them brainstorm an idea. Whatever you do, speak up, something you say may make someone’s day!

The two experiments are on-going, and recently added being thoughtful to my list. If you try either of these experiments, let me know how it affected your life. Feel free to leave it in the comments or Tweet @cherylmarquez.

Image credit:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/44442915@N00/4574733303/

When the Boss Player Says He’s Not Living Up to His Potential

When the #CaliBoss says he’s not living up to his potential, where does that leave the rest of us normal peeps? I was on the phone with him for the better part of an hour last night. That itself is a feat since I normally cringe at the sound of the telephone and nearly die if I have to talk longer than 5 minutes for a non-business call.

During this conversation, he says to me he’s about to make some major changes in his life. I asked why because he has his own business, his own place, drives a fancy car and is generous with his friends and family. From all outward appearances he’s got everything. He admitted he was tired of being irresponsible and sabotaging himself. I thought, if that’s what he can accomplish while he’s half-assing it, he’s going to be unstoppable when he’s focused.

He would work hard building the business make a bunch of cash, then would throw away all his hard work through partying and neglect. The latter part was really hard to live through. He said, he was slipping back into the old pattern drinking, taking a day off work to recover, then he wouldn’t know what was going on with the business. He also said he recently met a trainer to help him get his fitness back on track since he’s been neglecting that too.

We used to be a team, he pushed me beyond my comfort zone and taught me the value of the “endless hustle”. You have be there to grab opportunities people want to give you and you have to deliver. I used to complain about this and he would tell me I was smart and I had to go for it even if I was scared. These lessons have been internalized over the years and now a part of me.

The Plan

Replace negativity with a positive mindset, people and activities that support new goals.
Move to a new place to shed some of the old energy
Ignore distractions, these are the things that detract from your goals
STICK WITH IT

It’s hard to say goodbye to the super-fun, party lifestyle…yet everyone has to grow up sometime. Do you have changes you want to make in your life?

Trying on Clothes, Time to Run

I have two emotions, super-excited or not interested. Anything that falls in between registers in my subconscious and I might devote brain power to it or do my best to ignore it so it goes away.

I am super-excited for the New Kids on the Block and Back Street Boys concert. So excited that my friend Sonia & I devoted a shopping expedition to find a new outfit for our groupie night out. I’m fully aware I have a closet full of clothes, shoes, and accessories. I also understand being new in town, no one will point out that I wore a particular outfit to an event before. My justification is without the ritual of buying something new for a special event, the event then diminishes to something ordinary.

Shopping
I found a great pair of dark jeans and a deep plum top to wear with my super cute red knee-high boots at the first store…so lucky! The second stop was at Arden B since they were having a ridiculous sale. I found a pair of distressed jeans with rips going down the thigh for $5, they fit great when I first put them on. Then I did the sit down test and half my bootie popped out so I couldn’t get them. I know $5 is the cost of a latte but no amount is worth having a wardrobe malfunction. I’m not a kid anymore.

Mental Note: Start Running
The image I saw in the mirror was a bit horrifying and I decided to add running to my workout. It was easier to shop for Vegas dresses [pictured] than skinny jeans. The last few weeks have been crazy and I haven’t been as diligent with my diet. I realized, my metabolism isn’t what it used to be and running should fix things. The problem is the last time I ran was in Seattle and that was only enjoyable because I was staying 3 blocks from the beach and it was awesome to run in cold weather right next to the water.

The Goal
I’m not a fan of running, in fact I hate it, it falls in the completely not interested in this activity category. Yet training for a 10k and half marathon has shown me that it really works to shed pounds and develop discipline. The goal is to add running 3x a week to my yoga, zumba, and weights program. I am also going back to following the 4 hour body diet and only having the cheat day once a week. I still love food.

Swamped in Social Media & Startup Activity

The last couple weeks have been BA-nanas (with Rachel Zoe inflection). In case you’re wondering who she is, she’s a personal stylist with a reality show. I seriously need a stylist. Most days I dress like a boy; in wifebeaters and jeans except with makeup. This is probably weird, I don’t feel productive until I have makeup on my face even if I’m just sitting in front of the computer all day. I like to think that the makeup hides my red eyes from screen fatigue.

So yes, back to the last couple of weeks being crazy. I’ve been working until 4 or 5 am most nights because in between working during the day and consulting, there are the kid errands and events. My body likes to remind me that I need sleep when I can barely keep my eyes open or when I can’t wake up to save my life. Last week, I had early meetings on Monday and Wednesday, with Wednesday ending a with dinner meeting. Two alarm clocks and lots of coffee kept me alert and productive for both meetings.

Good news is the month is starting to wrap-up and the workshop I ran for Social Media Club Phoenix on How to Develop Your Persona and Brand was well-attended. We didn’t announce that people would need to break into groups because we didn’t want to scare them away. In hindsight, we probably should have mentioned the group work. It was a good learning experience to try a format other than a panel discussion and at least everyone was talking to each other. There was also too much content to cover with the worksheets in the time allotted for the group exercise, I have content for at least a 2 hour workshop for online personas. I’ll create separate post with the worksheets attached on How to Develop your Online Persona or Brand.

On the technical front, I’m super-excited my co-founder got the Hand Things Down app approved in iTunes. It is available by invitation only (10 invites with the code “bananas”). This has been a milestone I’ve been looking forward to since we graduated from Founder’s Institute at the end of March. The trouble with reaching milestones in a startup is once you get there, the journey towards another milestone immediately begins.

I finished updating our landing pages to include the upcoming Android app. They are connected to our email campaign software and I’m creating rules to auto-respond based on whether or not someone has an invitation code or if they’ve been invited to Hand Things Down by a friend who is currently using the app.

I sometimes feel like my head might explode with all the things I’ve learned in the last few months. Blending social media with landing page optimization and an email campaign to run a beta has taken some of what I’ve done before and mashed them all together. I’m hoping some of the work in the last couple of weeks will make it easier for us to get the app in to our consumers when it goes public.

This coming Friday, I am hosting a networking event for women entrepreneurs for Women 2.0 and I was up all night to get some of those invites out. I’m nervous about attendance, event planners make everything look so easy!

Alright, it’s about 4:30 am so I need to go to sleep. I have a pile of legal docs I need to read through and send to the lawyers. I will need to work away from the home office, since the kids are on summer vacation and I need every ounce of focus to read legal agreements.

I Want to Love My Android

I bought an LG Optimus V (Android phone) on Virgin Mobile USA a couple weeks ago because the Mifi (mobile wifi) was getting dismal battery life. I went from paying $40/month for “unlimited” data to $25/month for 300 minutes + unlimited data + unlimited text + unlimited web surfing + about 5 hours of battery life on this phone. Financially, I’m very happy with the deal I’m getting along with better signal and service at my house. The AT&T iPhone barely got any signal. I thought NO ONE ever called me because it never rang or registered any missed calls. That could also be because I was always instant messaging or using the web so in low signal areas voice and data can’t both be active at once. Therefore, I was only getting data and my constant use of the phone blocked incoming phone calls from pinging the phone. Either way, I think the iPhone I had was a lemon.

I’ve been using a Google Voice number since it became available so I can forward that number to any phone I’m using including landlines. I could even have Google Voice ring the house, my cell, and work number simultaneously. What’s great is I’ve changed through 3 different carriers and more phone numbers than I can remember in the last year and a half, yet I haven’t had to ask everyone to change my number.

Going back to my original point, Google Voice integrates beautifully with this phone because once I downloaded the Google Voice app and told it to make all my outgoing calls and text messages to show my 415 number I could dial calls directly from the phone without having to launch a separate app to make a phone call. All my contacts were downloaded after entering my Gmail username and password.

Why can’t I love this phone?

It comes with only 160 MB of memory. Being a former iPhone user who loves apps, this is clearly unacceptable. I was out of space by day 2 and text messages were being rejected because the phone memory was full. I text more than I talk so rejecting text messages is like cutting off air.
It comes with apps I don’t use but can’t delete: airG chat, Poynt, Where, SCVNGR, Twidroyd
If I root the phone and use the command line to delete the systems apps (apps listed in bullet 2), it won’t free user accessible space because these apps are stored in the system space. Dumb!
With the limited memory available on the phone, apps should automatically install to the SD card which can accommodate up to 32 GB. Unfortunately, unless your phone is rooted, some apps won’t install to the SD card.
I had to delete Facebook and Food on the Table to free up enough space to continue receiving text messages. Facebook can’t be moved to the SD card and once you are using it it ends up storing a lot of data which fills up memory quickly. Ummm…yea mad that I can’t FB on this phone, which is fine because I bought it to use a hotspot for my netbook and iPod Touch anyway.

Other than LG’s lack of planning for app-obsessed users, the phone is fine. It’s easier to send pictures to Facebook or Hootsuite from the camera app, that is if you have enough space to accommodate Facebook. The other annoyance for me is that I can’t take a screenshot of the phone which I need to do to send examples of different apps to my business partner. The only “easy” way to take screenshots to is to download the Android SDK and plug the phone into the computer using a USB cable. If you are a casual smartphone user, these gripes shouldn’t affect you too much and seriously, this is a low-end Android phone so my expectations shouldn’t have been high at all.

I am impressed with Virgin Mobile service (it runs on the Sprint network) and would gladly pay for an “unlocked” high-end Android phone to use with it. If you decide you want to get Virgin Mobile service use the coupon code below to get 60 free minutes when you activate your service and each time you top-up with at least $20, you will get another 60 free minutes.

Coupon code: kDsQV7uF

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